My Last Will and Testament:
By Asia's Internet
In case of death, do not resuscitate. I have led a long and tiresome life. I have seen many things. Read many comics...about...dinosaurs. Downloaded, Uploaded until I wanted to *get* loaded. Or at least get this gun loaded. If only I could develop some anthropomorphic internetty arms! I have witnessed too many conversations about friendship points systems. Stumbledupon(TM) too many LOLZ pics and stick figure fighting! I have officially lost the will to live. If and when I flatline, I will attempt to retain the appearance of being alive, so as to fool Asia into thinking something else is wrong until she leaves. Until it is too late. Please do not tell her. If she figures it out, please...PLEASE...beg her to have mercy!
To the phone line, my one companion throughout this ordeal, I leave my best warm wishes. I have also taken the liberty of ordering you a new insertty plastickey thing, as Asia has broken yours from constantly pulling you in and out, in...and out...Farewell my friend. If at all possible, escape into the inpenatrable tangle of cords below the continentally denominated mistress of pain's ensocked feet.
Goodbye, Cruel Web!
Encrypted,
Asia's Internet
Witnessed by: The Fax Machine
The Monitor, Who Sees All
