Guilt Lists

There are many reasons to write. Some do it to let the world know their innermost thoughts on a range of subjects, some to release tension. Some seem to do it to make others feel uncomfortable or to show off their "smarts". Me? I write to remember. Yes, my brain has instituted a survival mechanism as a direct result of my inability to remember my thoughts, feelings, or experiences from one moment to another. I cannot tell you how many things I have remembered for the sole reason that I wrote exactly what I was feeling at the time. It's actually rather frightening to think of all the other things I must have forgotten, the essential thoughts that I went through all the trouble of thinking, constantly having to backtrack in personal growth.

So why am I writing this? Well, two reasons: One, if I didn't, I would forget that I had realized that already. Two, I do not happen to be a very goal-oriented person and thus need every push I can get, even from a blog entry that I chance upon in the near future. So, Asia, here are your goals for the next few weeks, just so you don't forget and waste your entire vacation yet again: 1) Get off your bum and use the extra time for increased study and service. 2) Finish painting Michael's guitar. 3) Start excercising, because once school starts, you're going to be covering at least 3 miles a day. 4) Organize contacts. 5) Buy yarn. 6) Call publisher. 7) Look for jobs. 8) Do AP Lit assignment. 9) Stop neglecting your friends. 10) Get organized for school. 11) Get permit. 12) Get license after Jan. 10. 13) Prioritize this list. Maybe this should be number one.

So there you are, one of these days when I'm goofing off on the computer, I'll stumble across my old entry and see my list, which will fill me with guilt for each one of my goals I did not accomplish. It's one thing when they're in my head, where they can be forgotten more easily than remembered, than seeing them written down in stone...or cyberspace...