Sorry...

I officially apologize to that one person out there who may have looked at my previous post. If you haven't, don't. It was merely the result of a short-lived spurt of self-conscious angstiness. The end.

Since I know hardly anyone reads my blog anyway, I don't feel so badly for posting something this long. These are the results of an extensive personality test I was required to take for one of my classes. Although these types of tests usually give results that are at best vague and uninformative, what I have here seems to me like someone reaching into my brain and pulling it all out on ticker tape.

4
THE INDIVIDUALIST Overview of Type Four
In the artist of all kinds I think one can detect an inherent dilemma, which belongs to the co-existence of two trends, the urgent need to communicate and the still more urgent need not to be found....
What more fruitful way to redressing the balance than by portraying one's inner world in a work of art and then persuading other people to accept it, if not as real, at least as highly significant? Part of the satisfaction which a creative person obtains from his achievement may be the feeling that, at last, some part of his inner life is being accepted which has never been accorded recognition before. Moreover, since art became an individual matter rather than a task for anonymous craftsmen, creative work is generally recognized as being especially apt for expressing the personal style of an individual (which is of course closely related to his inner world). The value we place upon authenticity is often exaggerated; yet there is a sense in which it is justified. However good a painting or a piece of music may be, taken quite apart from its creator, the fact that it is or is not another expression of the personality of a particular artist is important. For it either is or is not an addition to our knowledge of that artist; a further revelation of that mysterious, indefinable and fascinating thing—his personality. (D. W. Winnicott, quoted in Anthony Storr, The Dynamics of Creation, 58.)
The nature of creativity will probably always remain mysterious because its basis is irrational—in the feelings and unconscious of those who create—and because, as Winnicott notes, part of the motive for creating is to remain concealed, to be unfound by others. Yet the motives given for artistic work—to communicate and to conceal the self—are but two possible motives which any person may have for creating. These two motives are, however, particularly appropriate to the Four, the artistic temperament among the personality types. Of course, members of any other personality type can become artists in the sense of making a livelihood by producing works of art, however that is defined. Fours, however, are in search of their identities, and art is the foremost means they have of finding themselves, as well as their way of reporting to the world what they have discovered.
In the Feeling Triad
The Four is the personality type which emphasizes the subjective world of feelings, in creativity and individualism, in introversion and self-absorption, and in self-torment and self-hatred. In this personality type we see creative artists, romantic aesthetes, and withdrawn dreamers, people with powerful feelings who feel different from others because self-consciousness blocks them from getting outside themselves.
Fours are the most self-aware of the types, and this is the basis of what is most positive and negative about them. The constant conflict we see in Fours is between their need to be aware of themselves, so they can find themselves, and, at the same time, their need to move beyond self-awareness, so they will not be trapped in self-consciousness. The tension between self-awareness and self-transcendence can be resolved in creativity. In the creative moment, healthy Fours harness their emotions without constricting them, not only producing something beautiful but discovering who they are. In the moment of inspiration, they are, paradoxically both most themselves and most liberated from themselves. This is why all forms of creativity are so valued by Fours, and why in its inspired state, creativity is so hard to sustain. Fours can be inspired only if they have first transcended themselves, something which is extremely threatening to their self-awareness. In a sense, then, only by learning not to look for themselves will they find themselves and renew themselves in the process.
The problem with average Fours, however, is that they try to understand themselves by introspecting upon their feelings. As they move inward in a search for self, they become so acutely self-conscious that their subjective emotional states become the dominant reality for them. And, because even average Fours are so involved with their emotions, they do not usually express their feelings directly. Instead, they communicate their feelings indirectly though art, if they have they talent and training to do so.
The overall direction of their personalities therefore is inward, toward increasing self-absorption, because Fours feel that they are different from other people, and they want to know why they feel this way. Ironically, however, they try to find their place in life by withdrawing from it so they can trace the labyrinth of their emotions. But the result of their withdrawal is that even average Fours have noticeable difficulties coping with life, while unhealthy Fours have some of the most severe emotional difficulties of all the personality types.
Fours tend to compound their emotional difficulties in some striking ways. Because Fours have identified themselves with their feelings, they begin to look for intensity of feeling in all of their activities. The more intensely they feel something the more real they feel. Thus, average Fours begin to employ their imaginations to "stir up" their emotional life. They can take even the most transitory encounter and dwell on it for hours to extract all of its "emotional juice." The problem is that it becomes difficult for Fours to dwell deeply in their moods and fantasies if they are still interacting with others. Their feeling states and self-image become rarefied to a degree that reality will not support. Increasingly, they begin to withdraw from life and real relationships and experiences, both to prevent others from interfering with their strong reveries and moods, and to avoid potential embarrassment and humiliation. As they draw the curtains and turn away from life, however, they cut themselves off from the wellspring of their feelings and their creativity—participation in the world.
In healthy Fours, however, the rich life of the unconscious becomes accessible and is given shape. More than any other personality type, healthy Fours are the bridge between the spiritual and the animal in human nature because they are so aware of these two sides of themselves. They sense in themselves the depths to which human beings can descend, as well as the heights to which they can be swept up. No other personality type is as habitually aware of the potentials and predicaments of human nature: human beings are spiritual animals occupying an uneasy place between two orders of existence. Fours sense both sides of their potentially conflicting natures, and they suffer intensely or are ecstatic because of them. This is why, at their best, healthy Fours create something which can move others deeply because they have been able to get in touch with the hidden depths of human nature by delving deeply into their own. By doing so, they transcend themselves, and are able to discover something universal about human nature, fusing personal conflicts and divergent feelings into art.
But, like everyone else, most Fours do not live at the peak of their potential. In response to anxiety, they turn inward, becoming self-conscious, particularly about the negativity they discover in themselves. To offset their negative feelings, they use their imaginations to make their lives more bearable. As a result, average Fours begin to withdraw from ordinary life. They become self-absorbed and do not learn how to relate to people or how to manage in the practical world. They feel like outsiders, somehow flawed and different from others, unable to break through the barrier of self-consciousness that separates them from easy commerce with the world.
And if they are unhealthy, their negative feelings feed upon themselves because Fours have closed themselves off from any other influences. Unhealthy Fours are so completely alienated from others, and ironically, even from themselves, that they despair of ever finding a way out of their excruciating self-consciousness. They realize that their search for self has led them into a world of useless fantasies and illusions. Understanding only too clearly what they have done to themselves, and fearing that it is too late to do anything about it, unhealthy Fours hate and torment themselves, turning against themselves to destroy what they have become.
Problems with Identity
Fours find it difficult to transcend self-consciousness because just the reverse is what they want: to become more conscious of their states and feelings so that they can find themselves and arrive at a firm sense of identity. But as they become more self-conscious, Fours become increasingly drawn into unresolved, contradictory, and irrational feelings which they want to sort out before they dare express them.
Self-discovery is an extremely important motive for Fours because they never feel that their sense of self is strong enough to sustain their identities, particularly if they need to assert themselves. Because their feelings change so readily, their sense of identity is not solid, dependable, in their own hands. They feel undefined and uncertain of themselves, as if they were a gathering cloud which may produce something of great power or merely dissipate in the next breeze. Fours can never tell how the next moment will affect them, so it is difficult for them to count on themselves. Something is missing in the self, something they cannot quite put their fingers on, but which they feel they lack nonetheless.
The difficulty is that average Fours may not know what their feelings are until after they have expressed them personally or artistically. But if they express all that they feel, they fear that they may reveal too much, exposing themselves to shame or punishment. On the other hand, by not expressing their feelings, average Fours undermine the possibility of discovering themselves by getting caught in endless self-absorption. They become aware of being aware of themselves—their consciousness is filled with little more than fantasies and memories, ultimately leading to illusions, regrets, and a wasted life.
As Fours become more fearful that they cannot find a solid identity in themselves, they begin to create one out of whatever random tendencies they find. Thus, matters of taste, likes and dislikes, and emotional reactions become the materials which Fours use to construct an identity. Because their sense of self is so tenuous, however, Fours begin to put a great deal of weight on what would be for others relatively unimportant traits. ("I only wear black." "I listen to Puccini, but never Wagner.") It is important to note that most of these personal traits function by negation. Fours may not know who they are, but they certainly believe they know who they are not. While these idiosyncrasies can be fairly harmless in and of themselves, as Fours increasingly depend on them to figure out who they are, they begin to paint themselves into a corner. In the interest of maintain a narrowly defined self-image, Fours may refuse to engage in many basic activities necessary to live their lives. ("Poets don’t work in an office.")
As we have seen in the other types of the Feeling Triad, the Two and the Three, much of the Four’s energy goes into maintaining a consistent self-image which is somehow at odds with the real, essential self. Twos did this by looking for others to respond to their goodness in ways that would make them feel lovable. Threes kept their self-image intact by getting validation for their achievements and giving themselves inner "pep talks." Fours do something akin to the inner talk of the Threes in that they maintain the sense of identity through a continuous inner dialogue and referencing of their emotional reactions. Of course, Fours want someone to validate their self-images, too, but they are less dependent on the affirmation of others than Twos or Threes. In fact, much of their identity is tied to their feelings about not having the affirmation of others. Feeling different and misunderstood is as central to the Four’s false self-image as being only good and loving is to the Two’s or being a totally competent "winner" is to the Three’s.
Parental Orientation
Fours are disconnected from both parents. As children, they did not identify with either their mothers or their fathers. ("I am not like my mother; I am not like my father.") They may have had either unhappy or solitary childhoods as a result of their parents' marital problems, divorce, illness, or simply because of personality conflicts within the family. In some cases, Fours may have had relatively "normal," uneventful childhoods. Nonetheless, even with a supportive environment, they did not see themselves reflected in either parent: they felt that their parents did not see them as they actually were or that what their parents conveyed to them was somehow irrelevant. Lacking definitive role models, Fours as children turned inward to their feelings and imaginations as the primary sources of information about themselves from which they could construct their identities.
From childhood, Fours felt essentially alone in life. It seemed to them that, for some reason they could not understand, their parents had rejected them, or at least, that their parents did not take much interest in them. Fours therefore felt that there must be something deeply wrong with them, that they were somehow defective because their parents did not give them the kind of nurturing attention which, as children, they needed. As a result, they turned to themselves to discover who they are.
Self-knowledge became their most important goal, the means by which they hoped to fit into the world. Fours felt that if they could discover who they are, they would not feel so different from others in the deep, essential way that they do. However, instead of creating themselves through introspection, Fours ironically become trapped in self-consciousness. Their self-consciousness alienates them, making them feel vulnerable and arouses their aggressions at themselves and others, particularly their parents. But because they also feel powerless to express their aggressions or to do anything about their condition, they withdraw from their parents and from others, turning their aggressions mostly against themselves.
Because the formative relationship with their parents was primarily one of disconnection, Fours also begin to develop a sense of ego identity based on their difference from others. There were few qualities in their parents that they identified with, so Fours began to inventory all the things that they were not—all of the ways in which they were unlike the people around them. Eventually, this sense of difference becomes a strongly developed and defended part of their self-image and many Fours have difficulty seeing the many ways in which they are like everyone else. To be "ordinary" becomes a frightening prospect, since a sense of "being unique" feels like one of the only stable building blocks of their identity.
Their disconnect from their parents also produces a longing for the "good parent"—the person who will see them as they truly are and validate the self they are trying to construct. Fours usually experience this as a longing for an ideal mate or partner. They will often project this role onto new acquaintances, idealizing them and fantasizing about the wonderful life they will have together. Unfortunately, as Fours get to know the person better, they become disenchanted, realizing that the other is not the "good parent" who will rescue them from all their problems. He or she is just another human being with flaws and shortcomings. The other’s "blemishes" soon become the focus of the Four’s attention, and they lose interest in the person. Before long they are back to their search and fantasizing again, but generally with less hope of finding the person "of their dreams."
Problems with Hostility and Despair
Like Twos and Threes, the other two personality types of the Feeling Triad, Fours have a problem with hostility. They direct their hostility at themselves because like the Twos and Threes, Fours have rejected their real self in favor of an idealized self-image. However, because of their self-awareness, Fours are always becoming conscious of all of the ways in which they are not like their idealized self. They come to disdain many of their real qualities which they see as barriers to becoming the self of their imagination. Angry with themselves for being defective, Fours inhibit and punish themselves in the many ways which we will see.
Of course, Fours also experience hostility toward others. They can become enraged if others question or dismiss their self-image or moods, but they tend to express this by "dropping" people, suddenly and without explanation. The creativity of Fours can also be employed in sarcastic, withering remarks directed at those who have wounded their "sensitivities." Fours also can experience intense hostility at the very people they have idealized. When others fail to live up to Fours’ hopes of the "good parent," they may relive the original pain they felt at not being able to connect with their parents, but project this onto the new love interest. They may dramatically express the rage and emotionality that they could not with their own parents, but usually withdraw quickly before the intensity of their feelings overwhelms them or does further damage to their relationships. More often, Fours will simmer and seethe in silence.
On a deep, unconscious level Fours are hostile toward their parents because they feel that their parents did not nurture them properly. Fours feel that they were not welcomed into the world; they feel out of place, unwanted—and they are deeply enraged at their parents for doing this to them. However, their rage at their parents is so deep that Fours cannot allow themselves to express it. They fear their own anger, and so withhold it, trying to come to terms with it themselves.
As awareness of their hostility and negative feelings gradually wears them out, average to unhealthy Fours sink ever more deeply into self-doubt, depression, and despair. They spend most of their time searching for the courage to go on living despite the overwhelming sense that the essential flaw in themselves is so deep that it cannot be healed. Indeed, the feeling of hopelessness is the current against which they must constantly swim. And if the undertow of hopelessness is too strong, unhealthy Fours either succumb to an emotional breakdown, or commit suicide because they despair of ever breaking free of it.
As soon as Fours devote themselves to a search for self by withdrawing from life, they are going in the wrong direction. No matter how necessary this search may seem to them, they must become convinced that the direct search for self is a temptation which eventually leads to despair.
On the other hand, what makes healthy Fours healthy is not that they have freed themselves once and for all from the turbulence of their emotions, but that they have found a way to ride that current to some further destination. Healthy Fours have learned to sustain their identities without exclusive reference to their feelings. By overcoming the temptation to withdraw from life to search for themselves, they will not only save themselves from their own destructiveness, they will be able to bring something beautiful and good into existence. If they learn to live this way, Fours can be among the most life-enhancing of the personality types bringing good out of evil, hope from hopelessness, meaning from absurdity, and saving what appeared to be lost

Guilt Lists

There are many reasons to write. Some do it to let the world know their innermost thoughts on a range of subjects, some to release tension. Some seem to do it to make others feel uncomfortable or to show off their "smarts". Me? I write to remember. Yes, my brain has instituted a survival mechanism as a direct result of my inability to remember my thoughts, feelings, or experiences from one moment to another. I cannot tell you how many things I have remembered for the sole reason that I wrote exactly what I was feeling at the time. It's actually rather frightening to think of all the other things I must have forgotten, the essential thoughts that I went through all the trouble of thinking, constantly having to backtrack in personal growth.

So why am I writing this? Well, two reasons: One, if I didn't, I would forget that I had realized that already. Two, I do not happen to be a very goal-oriented person and thus need every push I can get, even from a blog entry that I chance upon in the near future. So, Asia, here are your goals for the next few weeks, just so you don't forget and waste your entire vacation yet again: 1) Get off your bum and use the extra time for increased study and service. 2) Finish painting Michael's guitar. 3) Start excercising, because once school starts, you're going to be covering at least 3 miles a day. 4) Organize contacts. 5) Buy yarn. 6) Call publisher. 7) Look for jobs. 8) Do AP Lit assignment. 9) Stop neglecting your friends. 10) Get organized for school. 11) Get permit. 12) Get license after Jan. 10. 13) Prioritize this list. Maybe this should be number one.

So there you are, one of these days when I'm goofing off on the computer, I'll stumble across my old entry and see my list, which will fill me with guilt for each one of my goals I did not accomplish. It's one thing when they're in my head, where they can be forgotten more easily than remembered, than seeing them written down in stone...or cyberspace...

OK

Ok...so I just turned in my senior project, which means I can breathe for the next 4 months until senior boards...that is, if I passed.

Well, I had better pass!!!! I am NOT doing another one! No way! I am so sick of having no life. I have no time for friends or having fun of any sort. I barely have time to write this, and that's only because I was in such a frenzy this morning that I left my self-portrait at home. Technically, I should be working on my Gov/Econ Final, but my brain is so numb (technically, I guess everyone's brains always are...) from over 63 1/6 hours of work on this project that I might confuse Milton Friedman with the the star of Driving Miss Daisy.

*sigh*

It's not even that I have no time for fun; I barely eke in personal study time, and my service time could be...better. Which is why I better pass.

I HAVE to!

We had to include proof of the process of our project, but I couldn't get the pictures off the digital camera I was borrowing, so I turned it in with the rest of my stuff. Never before has a project been completed so last minute. 1st Block I was at Placer Elementary reading my book to 2nd graders, and 3rd block I was turning it into my Gov/Econ teacher...

one more: *sigh*

I better pass...

Late! I'm Late! For So Many Important Dates!

Yes, I am home from school once again, and why? Because I was too late to go to school. I got out, the late bell rang, and I ran back into the car. I couldn't go late again. Besides, I have SO much work to do...Ahem...

Senior Project: Can anyone say "haven't started"?

Take Home Gov/Econ Midterm: 55 Impossibly difficult "modified multiple choice" questions in which any number of the options could be right! Or wrong! Which you probably guessed!

Gov/Econ Essay(s): I have to write 3 essays by Wednesday based on 3 different prompts just so I can be prepared for the quickwrite portion of the midterm, where a random student will pull our prompt out of a hat.

Play: Yeah, definitely supposed to have all my lines memorized by 3:00 today...

I'm going to go curl up in a corner and mutter now...

Well, here I am, home, sick. No school for me today. Does that make me feel nice and relaxed? Um, no. It's just another reason to stress, because NOW I will have to spend days catching up. And I have a test in Spanish 3 tomorrow.

In other news, it turns out lonelygirl15 is a fake. Oh well.

Did you know that when you have a sore throat and are congested that many annoying people like to call you?

Well, I guess I'd better get started on my senior project now; everyone keeps telling me my life depends on it...

tata

Insanity?

Just a few words to say about the recent heightened airport security:

Have things been carried too far? This blogger says: undeniably, yes. My cousin was visiting San Clemente when the whole thing started. For her return trip, she had to wake up at 4:00 a.m. to wait in the security lines. Ahead of her, a girl was on the floor crying her eyes out because she had just been forced to throw away all of her obviously new, still-in-the-bag makeup. They also made everyone take off their shoes to go through the detectors (even flip-flops!); when my cousin stopped to tie her shoes afterward, she recieved a stare-down from a security guard who found her actions suspicious.
If one buys the AIRPORT's food, AFTER going through the detectors, they STILL have to throw it away before getting on the plane!

The thing here that really bothers me is that we had this kind of heightened security right after 9/11. Of course no one tries anything during this kind of paranoia, but it always wanes down. People always forget. Besides, if anyone really wanted to get something onto the plane, they could. I guarantee it. Oh, and if one is with a baby? They get to keep the baby food. Like they'd be above taking a baby with them.

"We should just get our own planes and become pilots," I jokingly said to my cousin. But, no. She went on to tell me that a pilot friend of ours who has a personal plane also has to deal with this. When under high security, he has to have his plane searched.

I don't know who they think they're kidding. They can't stop anything if the person really want to do it. It's all just a show, if you ask me. But then again...you didn't.

Closer and Closer...

This past weekend, I was at the District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses. The theme was "Deliverance at Hand". Never before has there been so much emphasis on the fact that we are closer than ever to the last days. Never before have they been so frank and forward about certain subjects that many have brushed off in the past as mere "conscience matters". I wrote them all down as they were given, in very clear list format. The drama made it clear that we need to listen to Jehovah and an accurate knowledge of what his will is is the only way to do this. Otherwise, we could end up like the "man of God", who listened to the old prophet instead of following Jehovah's command. The old prophet said in the drama "I am a prophet, just like you, and an angel of Jehovah told me to ask you to come back and eat with me" ,or something like that. The man convinced himself that this must be all clear with Jehovah and didn't even consult Him in the matter, bringing upon himself dire consequences. This paralelled the Isrealites' attitude toward the apostate orders of Jeraboam and directly relates to us in these critical times where it is so easy to be misled. This district convention will go down into my book of turning points; it made it very clear what is required, and I saw things in myself that I need to take immediate action to change and improve in, with Jehovah's help.

Feeling...?

You know what I hate? I hate how I never know just how I feel about any one thing at any one time...I mean, I think I know, but then I change my mind later, and I don't know which I really think. The only time I'm ever certain of how I should feel is when I take into account Biblical principles and really study into it, even when it means getting out My Book of Bible Stories, getting back to basics. ;-) Well, I guess what I mean is that I have trouble knowing what I mean half the time. Tomorrow, I'll probably look at this blog and think "What was I thinking?" I keep a handwritten journal, and I'm constantly thinking, "Who is this crazy person???" I write poetry, and people interpret it, and I say "Uh...sure, that's what it means..." because I really don't know, and their interpretation is often better than mine.

I also hate how I have this knowledge of my limitations, but seem to have trouble bringing my self to put forth any sort of effort to fix these. I feel overwhelmed by these limitations to the point where I just end up staring, feeling completely hopeless, and of course that just makes me feel stupider, *cough*, more stupid...

Well, I am typing this paragraph a few days later, and I was right: I am crazy. Wait. That makes no sense. That's a paradox. Never mind.

I just took my pre-calculus final, and I think I did pretty well, except this one problem that I'm not quite sure of...This was my answer at the end:

--> No points of inflection
--> Intervals of concavity: (-infinite, 0) f '(-1)=whatever
therefore inc/dec
(0, infinite)f '(1)=whatever
therefore inc/dec

I think I might have missed something...why would he put that on the final? The only thing keeping it from being (-inf, inf) was the asymptote at zero. So, either I did something wrong, or my teacher is a cheeseface who likes to confuse me. Well, it was my last day in that class, can't change it now!

It was also my last day of U.S. History. That was a great class, great teacher. At the end of class today, after the ENORMOUS final, Mr. Lundberg told us what an awesome class we were, and I thought that was pretty nice, but then he went down all of our names and told us what he thought of each and every one of us. When he got to me, he said "Asia? Asia has a quiet confidence about her. What I like about her is that she knows who she is. She has a very strong faith, too, and she is unwavering in that, and I appreciate that." I thought that was really nice of him.

Still Holding My Breath...

I tried to heave a big sigh of relief today now that my debate is over (Yay! God won!), but I now have to do all my pre-calculus homework and perfect a poem for tomorrow's slam competition and work on that musical that's coming up next week. I got the part of Clementine in the Paper Bag Bandit!!! So, I'm still holding my breath. I hope I get to heave that sigh sometime soon.

Yaaawwwwnnn...

This was the...slowest...week...ever....It was my first week back from spring break, which was fairly uneventful itself, other than the memorial, assembly, and good service time I got in, but this week just dragged on and on. This is not to say I have been lacking in things to do, oh no. I was swamped on all sides by my teachers' last ditch efforts to teach us, but it was all so...sluggish. Next week promises to be just as awful: 3 (4?) days of STAR testing followed by a Friday and Monday of Trig finals + the essay for US History (about the effects of Puritan and Frontier heritage on the behavior of Americans in times of crisis)+ the unit final in US History + the skit in Drama 2 I was supposed to perform today, but we ran out of time + costume crew + that poem I have to write for Creative writing + my life! And that's just next week! Oh yeah, + the debate on THE EXISTENCE OF GOD that I have to do with this guy who has totally different, unbending beliefs no matter how much I try to reason with him.

NOnononono

I absolutely, indisputably, unquestionably, undeniably, inarguably, and definitely for sure do NOT want to start my homework. That is why I am here loyal non-existent readers. I am here to write this to put off doing the writing I am actually supposed to be doing ...Oh no! I can't seem to think of anything to write! And I don't want to fill my blog with trivial nonsense! What am I to do? I suppose I have no choice. I must...do...my...homework...

After the Talk

After the Talk
Originally uploaded by abdurmalik.

After the Memorial talk, I talked to a girl who I go to school with who is studying with a sister in Loomis. (Abdur's photo) Then it was off to Great Aunt Lou Jean's for goodies and an Andrew Lloyd Webber special on tape. :) That was unexpected, but being the huge musical fan that I am, I was just fine with it.

Security?

Has anybody else read the book The Blue Nowhere? That will scare you out of checking your email for a week! I consider myself fairly fluent in the computer/internet world, but some of the stuff in there knocked my socks off for sheer "I can't believe I didn't know that"-ness. It made it seem like we are all vulnerable, no matter what we do. I know it is a work of fiction, and parts of it are most likely obsolete by now, but it just leaves one to wonder: What else don't we know? What else is happening every day that we just aren't aware of?

Now that you all (Who all?) see me for the paranoid loser I am, I have other news very recently developed (like the last minute). I seem to be developing carpal tunnel syndrome. Ouch. Oh, yes, I'm a hypochondriac too. I hereby thank every person who has put up with me for the least amount of time over the years or who will in the future. Out.

The Definition

Blog: 1)an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called Weblog, Web log
2)a personal Web site that provides updated headlines and news articles of other sites that are of interest to the user, also may include journal entries, commentaries and recommendations compiled by the user
3)tangible evidence that one is so vain as to think that their random thoughts put into list form will entertain for hours.

Enjoy my blog, whichever definition you choose to attribute to it.